Insults

You are so two-faced that any woman who married you would be married to a
bigamist.

I heard you went to see the doctor and told him that you wanted a little
wart removed; so he had you thrown out of his office.

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take
care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much.

I'm looking forward to the pleasure of your company since I haven't had it
yet.

I hear you are very kind to animals, so please give that face back to the
gorilla.

You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.

Yo momma like a video game: Four men for a dollar!

You were the answer to a prayer. Your parents prayed that the world would be
made to suffer and here you came along.
You're a habit I'd like to kick; with both feet!!

If I said anything to you that I should be sorry for, I'm glad.

Whom am I calling "stupid"? I don't know. What's your name?

Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.

The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

You're so fat you get clothes in three sizes: extra large, jumbo, and
oh-my-god-it's-coming-towards-us!

They just invented a new coffin just for you that goes over the head. It's
for people who are dead from the neck up.

I know what sign you were born under...'RED LIGHT DISTRICT'

Look through your towels and tell us the name of the hotel you stayed at in
Detroit.

You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can get someone to adopt you.

Yo momma's is so fat that she block the sun and everbody though that she was
the moon

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.